1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.
Justin Bieber simply can’t seem to keep himself out of trouble. Police were dispatched this morning to respond to an altercation at a Starbucks in West Hollywood involving some familiar faces. A barista at the coffee house was apparently confronted by Bieber when he refused to serve the pop star because he wasn’t wearing a shirt. “He came in with no shirt on and his pants hanging down and underwear showing and tried to order a caramel apple machiatto.”, said Joey Goldsmith, the Starbucks barista, “I just told him he would have to put a shirt on if he wanted to order.” That’s when Bieber snapped. According to the police report Bieber started cussing at the barista and threatening to have his bodyguard, “kick his ass”.
Fortunately for Goldsmith, LA Clippers star Blake Griffin had been enjoying a drink at a table when he witnessed the altercation and stepped in. Witnesses at the scene reported that Griffin tried to calm Bieber but the Biebs wasn’t having any of it. There was more yelling, and some pushing and that’s when Griffin smacked Bieber, knocking him to the floor. “He smacked the shit out of him” said one witness, “then I saw Justin stumble out of the door looking like he was crying.” Bieber was gone before police arrived at the scene.
i’m dead to tha bed
bitchslapped by Blake Griffin
this can’t be real